Written by Christina Ely Milliman, in memory of Florence Sarah Pelletier Ely and Leonard Roscoe Ely

Published on Facebook, October 16, 2025

I knew it years ago. My mother had an addiction. She was addicted to sugar! My sister told her version of this story in her eulogy at the funeral. I will tell you mine.

More than three years ago, I started going to my mother’s once a week. I also began running errands and grocery shopping for her on those days as I made my way to her house in Hebron. The first time I grocery shopped for her, I did not think about what was on the list. She dictated it over the phone, and I dutifully added each item to the list on my phone; that was it. I shopped, adding each item to the cart, again not considering the items as a whole. When I arrived at the checkout at Hannaford in Glens Falls, I looked in the cart. What I realized was that 90% of the items in the cart were composed of sugar. If it wasn’t candy, ice cream, cookies, sugar-laced cereal, graham crackers, body armor, or ICE water, it was fruit (also sweet and sugary). This continued; some weeks, there was more or less sugar. What was consistent was that when I couldn’t find the sugary items at the store, I would shop online at her house for them on Amazon.com.

I baked for my mother too, often on Sundays, so she could have a couple of treats fresh, as all the meals and baked goods we made for her were frozen upon arrival at her house, if not before. I made her pies, caramel walnut brownies, molasses cookies, gingerbread cookies, lemon bars, lemon brownies, cream cheese cranberry muffins, blueberry muffins, Welsh cakes, peach cobbler, and so many other sweet goodies. On top of that, Brian started making her a complicated frozen, pure sugar delight, combining whipped cream, lemon curd, and blueberries into a semifreddo, which she would conserve until he replenished the stash once or twice a year.

She also kept a tally of those treats. A list which she tracked, monitored, and had inventoried, often by yours truly and the ladies who assisted her. Once, I went to her house and she said to me, “I think someone ate a lemon bar.” I could not believe it. I dared not even eat a cookie as I baked them, or a brownie as I cut them and packaged them, let alone do such a thing as this in her own home. I was relieved that it was not me! No way was I going into that territory.

So, there were the baked goods, but there were also the Werther’s, peppermint patties, Dove milk chocolate, caramel candies, mini-Snickers, and a host of other stashed candies. As we’ve been sorting through her house, my sister and I have found candy everywhere. A couple of Dove stashed here and there. They are all over the house. She also “hid” the bags of candy in a Schwan’s sales 5-gallon ice cream container in her closet with an old green towel on top of it. Only two people knew where they were hidden: me, because I had put them away, and Evan, because it was their secret pact. In addition, she always had cookies and cream or vanilla ice cream, as well as other flavors.

Don’t forget the Stewart’s Dragonfruit or rainbow sherbert, depending on the day. Plus, there was always a backup stash in the freezer in the basement. Oh, but what about the honey in her tea? The tapioca and yogurt in the fridge? The Folgers or Tim Horton’s cappuccino. The Bevita bars and Milano cookies. The dried fruit. Wait, was there more? There was always more sugar lurking somewhere!

Did I mention that a second shelf of cookies, pies, and treats in my mother’s freezer was baked goods that my sister baked, as well? Our mother lived on sugar. Survived on sugar. But you know what, as Brian always said, she was in so much pain every day from her physical ailments and health problems, that who cares. Let her eat what she wants! If she wants to eat sugar for breakfast or all day long, let her!

So here I sit in my house. A house that I try so hard to keep sugar out of. And as I sit here writing this, there are Dove, Werther’s, Lindt truffles, and lemon Milano cookies on my kitchen counter, pints of ice cream from the weekend in the freezer, and the sourdough brownies, Revel bars, and a tin of cookies from Mom’s in my freezer. Mom’s Bevita bars are in the cupboard alongside her 2-pound bag of dried cherry stash. I realize that, somehow, this has descended on me over the last fourteen days, a collaborative effort involving my sister, Evan, Paul, Brian, and me. She is with us, sharing her love of sugary goodness and all her favorites. God bless her, and God do help me!

P.S. Did I mention that her sister Mary thought she was on a gluten-free, sugar-free, lactose-free, no salt diet? YES! Aunt Mary got a very different grocery list when she shopped for groceries for Mom! That, though, is a story for another time.

Song: Holy Water by Marshmello & Jelly Roll